Posts Tagged Stress
Stress & Personal Development: When Navel-Gazing turns Nasty!
Posted by pintpuller in Personal development on December 7, 2009
Generally speaking, the more we develop ourselves personally, the lower our long-term stress levels. After all, discovering our life purpose helps avoid the stress of pointlessness. Developing better communication skills avoids many relationship problems. Improving time management helps avoid feeling overcommitted in day-to-day work. On the surface, stress management and personal development seem to fit together perfectly.
There are times, however, when personal development itself can get a little out of control – when it starts adding to your stress, rather than helping manage it. When that happens, you can start to find yourself showing more of the signs of stress (for more information on these, ask for a copy of our free stress audit questionnaire), instead of less.
So should we totally avoid personal development altogether if we want to keep a handle on stress? Not necessarily, but we may need to look at what development we’re doing and how it’s affecting our stress levels.
SO HOW CAN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT INCREASE STRESS?
All personal development involves change on some level, and change is a major source of stress for many people. This means that, even if you’re trying to improve something that will eventually lower your stress level (e.g. time management or communication skills), it can sometimes act as a short-term.
There are four main reasons for personal development work causing, rather than curing stress:
- Too Many Areas
- Lack of Balance
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Going it Alone
TOO MANY AREAS
Personal development can be addictive – who wouldn’t want to be the best person they can in every area of their lives? With so many areas we could work on, we often try to improve in multiple areas at once. For some people, this isn’t an issue. For others, however, the old adage “chase two rabbits, catch neither” applies.
If you’re working on improving two or more areas of your life and your stress levels rise, consider asking yourself, “Which area is most important right now?”, or, “Which area would improving make the most difference for me right now?” and then focussing on that area. Everything else will still be there waiting for you when you’re finished with the first one!
LACK OF OVERALL BALANCE
Personal development takes commitment and willingness to act. Sometimes, however, we exaggerate the importance of a particular improvement to the point that nothing else matters, and other areas get neglected. For example, if you want to develop spiritually, you need to take time out to do this. If you start ignoring friends or work demands so you can meditate to for hours each day, it may start causing stress.
Note that you’re the only one who can say what the right balance of “personal development time”. Some people might want to take weeks, months, or years out from the world for self-improvement. Most of us, however, want to integrate our development with our current lifestyles. If that’s the case for you, examine how much time you spend on personal development, and consider cutting back if appropriate.
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
It can be hard to create a mental image of how we want to be, then acknowledge how far we are from it now without blaming or getting angry with ourselves. In the same vein, once we have that clear image, it’s easy to believe that we’ll suddenly be able to act in accordance with it. If only it were that easy!
In reality, that habits take time to change, new skills take practice to implement, and little that happens overnight will last. If you’re frustrated because you’re not seeing progress (or not seeing it fast enough), remember self-improvement is a little like building a house. The first part of the work always happens beneath ground level – digging and then laying foundations. On the surface, it would seem absolutely nothing was happening. Yet if those foundations aren’t laid properly, the house itself will collapse. Personal development can be a lot like that.
If you’re frustrated by an apparent lack of progress, take a step back and ask yourself how realistic your expectations are. Talk to others who’ve made the same change – how long did it take them? What stages did they go through? While everyone’s journey is unique, you may find that hearing from others helps put things into perspective for you.
DOING IT ALL ON YOUR OWN
Of course, personal development is personal – no-one can do it for you. But you don’t need to deal with it alone. There’s enough support out there – in the form of communities, mailing lists, forums, and trained experts – that no-one should feel alone. Type “personal development” or “self improvement” into your search engine of choice and see what comes up. Alternatively, consider consulting a stress management coach.
The Complete Person: Starting With the Basics
Posted by pintpuller in Personal development on October 4, 2009
We’ve all heard about coaches pounding away at what they refer to as “the fundamentals.” In other words, the basic skills and techniques of their sport. So for our purposes, what are the basics? For me, the basics components of The Complete Person fall into four easily comprehendible groups: Mind, Body, Spirit and Heart. To ignore any one is to limit options, possibilities and, ultimately, total success in reaching the higher level of living and being each of us strives to reach. The Complete Person
I find analogies often get my points across much better than detailed explanations, which can create the “eyes glazed over” response. So, here goes.
Imagine you – your entire self, physical, mental, spiritual, energy field … any and every aspect of you – are a car or other sophisticated machine. We all know, on some level, that today’s vehicles are made up of multiple systems, each of which has a number of components that must function together in a tightly choreographed relationship. Without getting technical, they have to work together closely. Beyond that, each of the systems, when called on, must function correctly with the other systems in the vehicle.
It’s not much of a stretch to think of us in the same way. Each of our major components must be “tuned up” in order to perform at its peak. Only then can we experience our entire “machine” reaching its highest possible level of performance.
OK, not much new here, but it’s worth mentioning as a starting point.
These are the areas I strive to excel in:
1) My focus on the four major components of the Complete Person – Mind, Body, Spirit and Heart and how they function individually and synergistically;
2) The carefully screened and selected, highly effective products, tools and free information available through this resource and;
3) My ability to guide and support you as you integrate the “tuned up” components of your Complete Person in your journey to reach higher and higher levels of personal living.A Word About Simplicity
Have you ever had the experience of being confronted with something that, at first, seemed overwhelmingly complex or foreign only to realize later, after overcoming the learning curve, that it wasn’t really all that complicated? With hindsight, you were able to say, “I though it was more complicated than it really was. It was actually simpler than I thought.” The experience of many of our most accomplished practitioners is like that.
With our support and guidance, these successful individuals have been able to make educated decisions and choices; those that have enabled them to reach successively higher levels of personal performance and satisfaction. The “ah-ha moment” almost universally is when they realize that instead of getting more and more difficult to identify their personal next level, it actually gets easier. That’s because with increased sophistication comes clarity of mind (read that as simplicity) and of purpose. The further you go on your journey to personal development, the clearer, less cluttered your path. It’s just that … well, simple. The Four Components of The Complete Person: Mind, Body, Spirit and Heart
At the beginning of this article, I referred to coaches drilling their players on the fundamentals, or basics, of their sport. Good coaches place a high value on the fundamentals because they are “fundamental” to each player’s success and to that of the entire team. I agree.
With that in mind, let’s briefly cover a working definition of each of our basics and how they impact the success of our practitioners.Mind
The mind is where all the chatter exists; the chatter that includes things like self-doubt and conflicting messages. These are the killers of personal progress. They tend to paralyze us. They keep us from making decisions for fear of making a costly mistake. In truth, not making a choice or decision can be far more costly, if only in terms of our self-esteem and faith in our own judgment. My goal to help you quiet the negative chatter and open your mind to the positive, supportive messages that will energize your personal journey. We provide lots of help.Body
Of our four basics, the body is the most obvious and easiest to comprehend. Most people start their personal journey here. That’s OK. The body is where the other basic components live. Some people, however, never move beyond the body. That’s OK, too, if that’s where they want to limit their journey. For me, personally, and for all of us at Natural Healing Tools.com, the health and well being of the body can only be maximized when proper attention is paid to the Mind, Spirit and Heart.
The list of products, tools and information to enhance the body and its functions that is available from countless sources is long, to be sure. Our resource is filled with them. The difference in what you will find here and what you find elsewhere is that every item we offer has been individually reviewed screened and hand picked for its content, intended purpose and compatibility with everything else offered here. Be advised that different products – including the ones we offer – work differently, and sometimes not at all, for different people. But know this: if we offer it, we use it or have used it. It’s our guarantee of authenticity.
Our intent in offering a wide variety of products, tools and information for the body is two-fold. First, to offer you only the best-of-category by eliminating inferior and ineffective products and misleading information. Second, to offer you reasonable choices in various categories and help you decide which will work best for you – today and tomorrow.Spirit
This isn’t what you might be thinking. Yes, it has to do with energy, but not the kind you get from Red Bull or another energy drink. It comes from connecting with what might be called “your higher self.” No, this is not especially “touchy-feely” stuff. It is fundamentally human! We all experience the connection, or at least the need to connect, in one way or another. Humans have been doing it for all of recorded time. For some, the connection roots itself in a religious context. For others, it might be as simple as living in greater harmony with nature. But the need to take oneself to a higher level of consciousness and connect with a higher existence or power is very real. Filling the need to connect with one’s higher self gives us strength and resilience we didn’t know we had. It reveals and makes possible things never dreamed. Call it mind over matter, if that works for you. Whatever you call it, whatever it is, it works and it helps everything else work better!
Spirit, as we consider it, is a bit foreign for some. Even those who recognize and accept Spirit as part of their Complete Person can have difficulty defining it. Not to worry. We’ll ease you into the subject and help you drill down as deep into it as you decide to go.Heart
Ah, yes, Heart. The catalyst for all parts of The Complete Person. It’s easy to over-complicate the subject of Heart, so let’s not.
Here’s another analogy: electricity. While amperage does the work, voltage provides the power that gets the work done. So it is with heart. Heart equals passion. Without passion there’s nothing but … (you fill in the blank.) Heart is the fuel that will power you to ever-higher levels of personal performance and satisfaction.
We think that like Spirit, Heart is somewhat difficult for some people to grasp. Our job, then, becomes two-fold: 1) to help you understand and internalize the essence of Heart and 2) to help you understand the central role Heart plays in enabling you to become a more Complete Person. Once you understand number one, number two will be easy.
To understand Heart, think about some decision you made half-heartedly, only to regret it later on. The decision wasn’t authentic because you didn’t make it from the Heart. Or put another way, when you do something with “all your heart and soul,” you do it without limitation. You do it with passion. That’s because you are acting from the Heart.
Like Spirit, the subject of Heart is very deep. We’ll stay with you, however deep you want to drill down.Environment
While it’s not one of our fundamentals, I feel we must pay attention to the subject of the environment in which we work, live, love and thrive. Much has been written about the advantages and, particularly, the disadvantages of the environment – physical and emotional – that envelopes our daily lives. No need to debate or belabor it here. Just know that I take the environment that surrounds us very seriously. I am constantly looking to find products, tools and information on this to help you improve and maximize your environment.
The Complete Person includes Mind, Body, Spirit and Heart. Ignore any one and you limit your options and possible successes. Natural Healing Tools exists so that you can have ready access to a robust resource for maximizing all four components of The Complete Person, then integrate and balance them to achieve the higher level of personal living you want for yourself.
All the best to you as you begin – or extend – you journey. I’ll be anxious to learn about your successes! Email me at jurban@naturalhealingtools.com.
Dr. James Urban, Founder Natural Healing Tools